Doctor Faustus Contents
Enter WAGNER and CLOWN.
WAGNER. Sirrah boy, come hither.
CLOWN. How, boy! swowns, boy! I hope you have seen many boys
with such pickadevaunts as I have: boy, quotha!
WAGNER. Tell me, sirrah, hast thou any comings in?
CLOWN. Ay, and goings out too; you may see else.
WAGNER. Alas, poor slave! see how poverty jesteth in his nakedness!
the villain is bare and out of service, and so hungry, that I know
he would give his soul to the devil for a shoulder of mutton,
though it were blood-raw.
CLOWN. How! my soul to the devil for a shoulder of mutton, though
'twere blood-raw! not so, good friend: by'r lady, I had need
have it well roasted, and good sauce to it, if I pay so dear.
WAGNER. Well, wilt thou serve me, and I'll make thee go like
Qui mihi discipulus?
CLOWN. How, in verse?
WAGNER. No, sirrah; in beaten silk and staves-acre.
CLOWN. How, how, knaves-acre! ay, I thought that was all the land
his father left him. Do you hear? I would be sorry to rob you of
WAGNER. Sirrah, I say in staves-acre.
CLOWN. Oho, oho, staves-acre! why, then, belike, if I were your
man, I should be full of vermin.
WAGNER. So thou shalt, whether thou beest with me or no. But,
sirrah, leave your jesting, and bind yourself presently unto me
for seven years, or I'll turn all the lice about thee into
familiars, and they shall tear thee in pieces.
CLOWN. Do you hear, sir? you may save that labour; they are too
familiar with me already: swowns, they are as bold with my flesh
as if they had paid for their meat and drink.
WAGNER. Well, do you hear, sirrah? hold, take these guilders.
CLOWN. Gridirons! what be they?
WAGNER. Why, French crowns.
CLOWN. Mass, but for the name of French crowns, a man were as good
have as many English counters. And what should I do with these?
WAGNER. Why, now, sirrah, thou art at an hour's warning, whensoever
or wheresoever the devil shall fetch thee.
CLOWN. No, no; here, take your gridirons again.
WAGNER. Truly, I'll none of them.
CLOWN. Truly, but you shall.
WAGNER. Bear witness I gave them him.
CLOWN. Bear witness I give them you again.
WAGNER. Well, I will cause two devils presently to fetch thee
away.—Baliol and Belcher!
CLOWN. Let your Baliol and your Belcher come here, and I'll
knock them, they were never so knocked since they were devils:
say I should kill one of them, what would folks say? "Do ye see
yonder tall fellow in the round slop? he has killed the devil."
So I should be called Kill-devil all the parish over.
Enter two DEVILS; and the CLOWN runs up and down crying.
WAGNER. Baliol and Belcher,—spirits, away!
CLOWN. What, are they gone? a vengeance on them! they have vile
long nails. There was a he-devil and a she-devil: I'll tell you
how you shall know them; all he-devils has horns, and all
she-devils has clifts and cloven feet.
WAGNER. Well, sirrah, follow me.
CLOWN. But, do you hear? if I should serve you, would you teach
me to raise up Banios and Belcheos?
WAGNER. I will teach thee to turn thyself to any thing, to a dog,
or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat, or any thing.
CLOWN. How! a Christian fellow to a dog, or a cat, a mouse,
or a rat! no, no, sir; if you turn me into any thing, let it be
in the likeness of a little pretty frisking flea, that I may be
here and there and every where: O, I'll tickle the pretty wenches'
plackets! I'll be amongst them, i'faith.
WAGNER. Well, sirrah, come.
CLOWN. But, do you hear, Wagner?
WAGNER. How!—Baliol and Belcher!
CLOWN. O Lord! I pray, sir, let Banio and Belcher go sleep.
WAGNER. Villain, call me Master Wagner, and let thy left eye be
diametarily fixed upon my right heel, with quasi vestigiis
CLOWN. God forgive me, he speaks Dutch fustian. Well, I'll follow
him; I'll serve him, that's flat.
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