Elegie XVI: On his Mistris

Separation

Man with his page Donne wrote some twenty elegies in his youth. To find out more about elegies, see the Context section of the notes on Elegie XIX: Going to Bed. This one deals humorously with the theme of separation. While we cannot be certain if it is a real situation for Donne, or whether he is imagining a possible scenario and re-enacting it, it is true is that the Earl of Essex was reputed to have taken his mistress, Elizabeth Southwell, on his expedition to Cadiz, disguised as a page. As Donne went on this expedition and as this is the scenario imagined, this is the most likely origin of the poem.

Absence is best

The poem has an extremely long first sentence (ll.1-12), imitating the form of an oath ‘By...by...by...'. The joke is that he writes ‘I calmly beg', when the accumulation of six ‘by's' suggests anything but calmness. He is begging his mistress not to try anything as foolhardy as coming with him. The reasons he goes on to give get more and more humorous.

The first section (ll.1-26) suggests that absence is in this case better than presence. Although the thought ‘That absent Lovers one in another be' is a ‘flattery', it is better than the damage real storms will do. It is even more of a ‘flattery' that her beauty will remove the rage from the sea, one of many such Elizabethan fictions.

What if his mistress came with him?

In the second section (ll.27-43), he imagines what else might happen if she were to come. The disguise won't work for a minute, any more than if she were an ape. We then have a series of national jokes: the French will know her at once as they are all good play-actors. The Italians won't mind if she is a boy. The reference to ‘Lots faire guests' is to the homosexual attack recorded in Genesis 19:1-11.

Dream me some happiness

The last section (ll.44-56) suggests she will do better back in England. She can ‘dreame me some happinesse'. He cautions her, though, to still have a disguise: but of her feelings towards him. She must not, for example, wake up from some bad dream calling to her nurse ‘O my love is slaine ...'The female voice he adopts here is quite hilarious, and the reference to the nurse suggests she may still be quite young (Juliet also had a nurse to watch over her in Romeo and Juliet). Best to leave it to ‘dread Jove' and ‘Our greatest King', that is, God, to hold the future. The last line is a little fatalistic: if he were to die, she is to think God has given him enough in his life by having loved her. Quite a range of emotions!

How serious is Donne?

We can take the poem in a number of ways. It can be seen merely as a joke about an imaginary situation. Or there could be an underlying seriousness: he does have to go away on a dangerous mission, but he is making light of it. Or maybe he is just playing around with the language of separation and the exaggerated consolations that poetry sometimes offers.

Investigating On His Mistris

What in Elegie XVI might suggest that it is about a real situation?
- How does Donne convey the idea of reality?
What other things did you find to be funny besides those mentioned?

English Standard Version
King James Version

¹The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth ²and said, My lords, please turn aside to your servant's house and spend the night and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way. They said, No; we will spend the night in the town square. ³But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate. ⁴But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. ⁵And they called to Lot, Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them. ⁶Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, ⁷and said, I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. ⁸Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man. Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof. ⁹But they said, Stand back! And they said, This fellow came to sojourn, and he has become the judge! Now we will deal worse with you than with them. Then they pressed hard against the man Lot, and drew near to break the door down. ¹⁰But the men reached out their hands and brought Lot into the house with them and shut the door. ¹¹And they struck with blindness the men who were at the entrance of the house, both small and great, so that they wore themselves out groping for the door. ¹²Then the men said to Lot, Have you anyone else here? Sons-in-law, sons, daughters, or anyone you have in the city, bring them out of the place. ¹³For we are about to destroy this place, because the outcry against its people has become great before the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it. ¹⁴So Lot went out and said to his sons-in-law, who were to marry his daughters, Up! Get out of this place, for the Lord is about to destroy the city. But he seemed to his sons-in-law to be jesting. ¹⁵As morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, Up! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city. ¹⁶But he lingered. So the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city. ¹⁷And as they brought them out, one said, Escape for your life. Do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley. Escape to the hills, lest you be swept away. ¹⁸And Lot said to them, Oh, no, my lords. ¹⁹Behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have shown me great kindness in saving my life. But I cannot escape to the hills, lest the disaster overtake me and I die. ²⁰Behold, this city is near enough to flee to, and it is a little one. Let me escape there - is it not a little one? - and my life will be saved! ²¹He said to him, Behold, I grant you this favor also, that I will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken. ²²Escape there quickly, for I can do nothing till you arrive there. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar. ²³The sun had risen on the earth when Lot came to Zoar. ²⁴Then the Lord rained on Sodom and Gomorrah sulfur and fire from the Lord out of heaven. ²⁵And he overthrew those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground. ²⁶But Lot's wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. ²⁷And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord. ²⁸And he looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah and toward all the land of the valley, and he looked and, behold, the smoke of the land went up like the smoke of a furnace. ²⁹So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had lived. ³⁰Now Lot went up out of Zoar and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. ³¹And the firstborn said to the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. ³²Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father. ³³So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father. He did not know when she lay down or when she arose. ³⁴The next day, the firstborn said to the younger, Behold, I lay last night with my father. Let us make him drink wine tonight also. Then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father. ³⁵So they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. ³⁶Thus both the daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father. ³⁷The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab. He is the father of the Moabites to this day. ³⁸The younger also bore a son and called his name Ben-ammi. He is the father of the Ammonites to this day.

¹And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground; ²And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night. ³And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat. ⁴But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: ⁵And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. ⁶And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, ⁷And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly. ⁸Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof. ⁹And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door. ¹⁰But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door. ¹¹And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door. ¹²And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place: ¹³For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the LORD; and the LORD hath sent us to destroy it. ¹⁴And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law. ¹⁵And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city. ¹⁶And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city. ¹⁷And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed. ¹⁸And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my LORD: ¹⁹Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast showed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die: ²⁰Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live. ²¹And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken. ²²Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do anything till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar. ²³The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar. ²⁴Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; ²⁵And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. ²⁶But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt. ²⁷And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the LORD: ²⁸And he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace. ²⁹And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in the which Lot dwelt. ³⁰And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. ³¹And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: ³²Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. ³³And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. ³⁴And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. ³⁵And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. ³⁶Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. ³⁷And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day. ³⁸And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

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